Sunday 27 April 2014

A winters Poem

Mr Spice is hard at work marking some of the writing we did in the final week of the term.  He came across a little gem of a poem that Finn wrote on the last day. Marking books makes Mr Spice very tired but when he reads writing, that builds such a fantastic image in his head, he finds it very inspiring.

                                                               Winter Poem

The grey clouds hang in the sky like many balloons.

The cool wind races across my face.

My feet drag across the soggy, brown hills.

The brown leaves blaze across the wet fields.

As tears of rain drop onto my face.

by Finn


3 comments:

  1. I agree with Mr Spice Finn. This is an inspiring piece of writing. My favourite image is the clouds like balloons. Great noticing and thinking. Keep up the great writing.

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  2. I agree with Mr Spice Finn. This is an inspiring piece of writing. My favourite image is the clouds like balloons. Great noticing and thinking. Keep up the great writing.

    ReplyDelete
  3. "The grey clouds hang in the sky like many balloons." (I love this image & have never seen clouds compared to balloons before. Great!)

    "The brown leaves blaze across the wet fields." (This is just brilliant. Using the seemingly contradictory words "blaze" and "wet" in the same line - excellent.)

    I like that you used these words, but not in a cliché way: grey; cool; soggy; wet; tears. All evocative of winter and feeling cold.

    I really "felt" you poem as I read it. Keep on writing! Thank you for this one!

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